When a human is born, the emotional mind, the emotional body, is completely healthy. Maybe around three or four years of age, the first wounds in the emotional body start to appear and get infected with emotional poison. But if you observe children who are two or three years old, if you see how they behave, they are playing all the time. Their imagination is so powerful, and the way they dream is an adventure of exploration. When something is wrong, they react and defend themselves, but then they just let go and turn their attention to the moment again, to play again, to explore and have fun again. They are living in the moment. They are not ashamed of the past; they are not worried about the future. Little children express what they feel, and they are not afraid to love.

The happiest moments in our lives are when we are playing just like children, when we are singing and dancing, when we are exploring and creating just for fun. It is wonderful when we behave like a child because this is the normal human mind, the normal human tendency. As children, we are innocent and it's natural for us to express love. But what has happened to us? What has happened to the whole world?

What has happened is that when we are children, the adults already have that mental disease, and they are highly contagious. How do they pass this disease to us? They "hook our attention," and they teach us to be like them. That is how we pass the disease to our children, and that is how our parents, our teachers, our older siblings, the whole society of sick people infected us with that disease. They hooked our attention and put information into our mind through repitition. This is the way we learned. This is the way we program a human mind.

The problem is the program, the information we have stored in our mind. By hooking the attention, we teach children a language, how to read, how to behave, how to dream. We domesticate humans the same way we domesticate a dog or any other animal: with punishment and reward. This is perfectly normal. What we call education is nothing but domestication of the human being.

We are afraid to be punished, but later we are also afraid of not getting the reward, of not being good enough for Mom or Dad, sibling or teacher. The need to be accepted is born. Before that, we don't care if we are accepted or not. People's opinions are not important. They are not important because we just want to play and we live in the present.

The fear of not getting the reward becomes the fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough for someone else is what makes us try to change, what makes us create an image. Then we try to project that image according to what they want us to be, just to be accepted, just to have the reward. We learn to pretend to be what we are not, and we practice trying to be someone else, just to be good enough for Mom, for Dad, for the teacher, for our religion, for whatever. We practice and practice, and we master how to be what we are not.

Soon we forget who we really are, and we start to live our images. We create not just one image, but many different images according the different groups of people we associate with. We create an image at home, an image at school, and when we grow up we create even more images.

This is also true for a simple relationship between a man and a woman. The woman has an outer image that she tries to preject to others, but when she is alone, she has another image of herself. The man also has an outer image and an inner image. By the time they are adults, the inner image and outer image are so different that they hardly match anymore. In the relationship between a man and a woman, there are four images at least. How can they really know each other? They don't. They can only try to understand the image. But there are more images to consider.

When a man meets a woman, he makes an image of her from his point of view, and the woman makes an image of the man from her point of view. Then he tries to make her fit the image he makes for her, and she tries to make him fit the image she makes for him. Now there are six images between them. Of course, they are lying to each other, even if they don't know they are lying. Their relationship is based on fear; it is based on lies. It is not based on truth, because they cannot see through all that fog.

In the period when we are little children, there is no conflict with the images we pretend to be. Our images are not really challenged until we begin to interact with the outside world and no longer have our parents' protection. This is why being a teenager is particularly difficult. Even if we are prepared to support and defend our images, as soon as we project our images to the outside world, the world fights back. The outside world starts proving to us, not just privately but publicly, that we are not what we pretend to be.

Let's take the example of a teenage boy who pretends to be very intelligent. He goes to a debate at school, and in that debate, someone who is more intelligent and more prepared wins the debate and makes him look ridiculous in front of everyone. He will try to explain and excuse and justify his image in front of his peers. He will be so kind to everyone and will try to save his image in front of them, but he knows he is lying. Of course, he tries not to break in front of his peers, but as soon as he is alone and sees himself in a mirror, he goes and breaks the mirror. He hates himself; he feels that he is so stupid, that he is the worst. There is a big discrepancy between the inner image and the image he tries to project to the outside world. The bigger the discrepancy, the more difficult the adaptation to the society Dream, and the less love he will have for himself.

Between the image he pretends to be and the inner image when he is alone are lies and more lies. Both images are completely out of touch with reality; they are false, but he doesn't see that. Maybe someone else can see that, but he is completely blind. His denial system tries to protect the wounds, but the wounds are real, and he is hurting because he is trying so hard to defend and image.

When we are children, we learn that everyone's opinions are important, and we rule our lives according to those opinions. A simple opinion from someone can put us deeper into hell, an opinion that is not even true: "You look ugly. You are wrong. You are stupid." Opinions have a lot of power over the nonsense behavior of people who live in hell. That is why we need to hear that we are good, that we are doing well, that we are beautiful. "How do I look? How was what I said? How am I doing?"

We need to hear the opinions of others because we are domesticated and we can be manipulated by those opinions. That is why we seek recognition from other people; we need emotional support from other people; we need to be accepted by the outside Dream, via other people. That is why teenagers drink alcohol, take drugs, or start smoking. It is just to be accepted by other people who have all those opinions; it is just to be considered "cool."

So many humans are suffering because of all the false images we try to project. Humans pretend to be something very important, but at the same time we believe we are nothing. We work so hard to be someone in that society Dream, to be recognized and approved by others. We try so hard to be important, to be a winner, to be powerful, to be rich, to be famous, to express our personal dream, and to impose our dream onto other people around us. Why? Because humans believe the Dream is real, and we take it very seriously.

Baby Matin -- 2 months & 3 weeks old


Matin's so interested in what his Uncle Mat is talking about. Hehehe..



Hubby Acmat testing out the Bjorn Baby Carrier with Matin.
Matin: "Empuknya bantal ni. Hmm..suddenly I feel sleepy."


Elder sister, Nazurah, with my sunglasses on. ;o)


Me with the twins, Nazurah and Nabilah. ;D




This is me at 30 weeks pregnant. Goodbye to all the acne! Yeehaaaa!

Abdul Matin -- 7 days old.



Abdul Matin -- 14 days old.



Abdul Matin -- 28 days old, and after cukur jambul.

APRIL 25, 2008: My sister-in-law Siti Salha and her husband Rindra Mokhtar gave birth to a beautiful baby boy -- Abdul Matin bin Rindra Mokhtar. Adorable, isn't he? Matin was born at 6:28am, and weighed 3.4kg. Pheww! And frankly speaking, Matin looks exactly like his Uncle Mat. OMG. Hahaha! And hey, I wasn't the first to say that tau. Hehehe..

Enjoy the pictures anyway! ;D

The truth is relative in this world; it's changing all the time because we live in a world of illusions. What is true right now is not true later. Then it could be true again. The truth in hell could also be just another concept, another lie that can be used against you. Our own denial system is so powerful and strong that it becomes very complicated. There are truths covering lies, and lies covering truth. Like peeling an onion, you uncover the truth little by little until in the end, you open your eyes to find out that everyone around you, including yourself, is lying all the time.

Almost everything in this world of illusion is a lie. That is why there are these three rules for seeing what is true..

The first rule is: Don't believe me. You don't have to believe me, but think, and make choices. Believe what you want to believe according to what I say, but only if it makes sense for you, if it makes you happy. If it guides you into your awakening, then make the choice to believe it. I am responsible for what you understand. We live in a completely different dream. What I say, even if it is absolutely true for me, it isn't necessarily true for you. The first rule is very easy: Don't believe me.

Rule number two is more difficult: Don't believe yourself. Don't believe all the lies you tell yourself -- all those lies that you never chose to believe, but were programmed to believe. Don't believe yourself when you say you're not good enough, you're not strong enough, you're not intelligent enough. Don't believe your own boundaries and limitations. Don't believe you aren't beautiful. Don't believe in your own drama. Don't believe in your own Judge or your own Victim. Don't believe the inner voice that tells you how stupid you are, that tells you to kill yourself. Don't believe it, because it isn't true. Open your ears, open your heart, and listen. When you hear your heart guiding you to your happiness, then make a choice and stick to it. But don't believe yourself just because you say so, because more than 80 percent of what you believe is a lie -- it isn't true. The second rule is a difficult one: Don't believe yourself.

Rule number three is: Don't believe anyone else. Don't believe other people because they are lying all the ime anyway. When you no longer have emotional wounds, when you don't have the need to believe other people just to be accepted, you see everything more clearly. You see if it is black or white, if it is or is not. What is right now, maybe in a few moments is not. What is not right now, maybe in a few moments will be. Everything is changing so fast, but if you are aware, you can see the change. Don't believe others because they will use your own stupidity to manipulate your mind. Don't believe anyone who says she comes from Pleiades and she wants to save the world. Bad news! We don't need anyone to come and save the world. The world doesn't need the aliens to come from the outside to save us. The world is alive; it's a living being, and it's more intelligent than all of us together. If we believe the world needs to be saved, soon someone will come and say, "Okay, a comet is coming, we need to escape from the planet. Kill yourself and boom! You will reach the comet and go to heaven." Don't believe these mythologies. You create your own dream of heaven; no one can create it for you. Nothing but common sense will guide you to your own happiness, your own creation. Rule number three is difficult because we have the need to believe other people. Don't believe them.

Don't believe me, don't believe yourself, and don't believe anyone else. By not believing, whatever is untrue will disappear like smoke in this world of illusion. Everything is what it is. You don't need to justify what is true; you don't need to explain it. What is true doesn't need anyone's support.

I wonder if your appetite would still be good after this walk?

First - Let's take the tram up to the start of the trail.


Now, follow the path.


Be sure to hold on to the 'railing'.


Keep an eye on the person infront of you.


Be very careful when passing someone going in the opposite direction.


Now just up a few steps. (they're on the left in the picture)


Gets a little steeper here - so put your feet in the holes.


A few more steps to go.


Finally in sight.


"THE RESTAURANT"
The view's great BUT - would you dare try it?
I want to know who built this thing.. THEY are the crazy ones!!!!!!

Wedding gifts (barang-barang hantaran) from the groom to his bride..



*credits to cuzzie maisara for these two beautiful snaps*

Venue: BLK 910 Tampines Street 91 (bride's place)
Date: Saturday, March 1st 2008
Time: 2:00pm until 6:00pm

Sorry folks. I didn't have the opportunity to snap photos of the akad nikah and batal air sembahyang because the house was so freakin' crowded. So, hopefully you'll enjoy these random pictures I took.



erma and me.. sempat bergambar kat pelamin


the bride - nur syahidah


maisara, erma, (aunt)angah, me, atiqah, yasmiin